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World NewsWorld News
Man buys new suit to go to new job to pay for new suit

Man buys new suit to go to new job to pay for new suit

Freddy Fuckwit bought his new suit yesterday so that he could start his new job so that he could pay for his new suit

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
Most common cause of stress identified as 'dealing with dickheads'

Most common cause of stress identified as 'dealing with dickheads'

Dickheads contribute to 100% of the world's stress levels, according to scientists

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
Husband gives 👍 reply to wife's 3k word text message

Husband gives 👍 reply to wife's 3k word text message

Darren Undergunt's simple reply didn't go down well with wife Debbie

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
Workers that are 'acting like they don't want to be here' aren't acting

Workers that are 'acting like they don't want to be here' aren't acting

Workers who act like they don't want to be at work aren't acting, say workers

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
Man successfully opens bacon packet by pulling on the corner

Man successfully opens bacon packet by pulling on the corner

It's the world's first known case of anyone opening a packet without a knife

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
Hippos prove it's impossible to lose weight by eating salad and walking

Hippos prove it's impossible to lose weight by eating salad and walking

The barrel-shaped bastards have disproven expert advice on how to lose weight

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
NewsNews
+1+1
Police given new powers to shoot next person to ask 'All ready for Christmas?'

Police given new powers to shoot next person to ask 'All ready for Christmas?'

Thousands of people are expected to fall foul of the new law, which takes place with immediate effect

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
Local Woman Hospitalized with Severe Case of "Postelectionitis"

Local Woman Hospitalized with Severe Case of "Postelectionitis"

Ms Ballotbox suffered severe inflammation of the opinion gland

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
World NewsWorld News
US Election prediction: one of them will win it

US Election prediction: one of them will win it

"We are pretty certain that one of them will win this presidential election," says Grumpy Fucker's political analyst, Danny Bigballs

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
Government asks BMW to recall 5 million cars after 'indicators fail to work'

Government asks BMW to recall 5 million cars after 'indicators fail to work'

“We’ve been getting calls from motorists and police officers across the country telling us that flashers on the side of BMWs are not working," said a traffic officer

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
NewsNews
Antisocial group still yet to meet

Antisocial group still yet to meet

The Grumpy Fuckers Anti Social Social Club have put off ten monthly meetings so far this year

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
NewsNews
Cats silently tell owners to 'go fuck themselves' up to 50 times a day

Cats silently tell owners to 'go fuck themselves' up to 50 times a day

The boffins found that whereas dogs need constant attention, cats are quite happy for everyone to fuck off

Clive Grimgrits
Clive Grimgrits
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