Man successfully opens bacon packet by pulling on the corner

A 32-year old man has successfully opened a packet of bacon by pulling on one of the corners of the packet.

Richard Dryhump didn’t even have to use a knife to open the packet, recording the world’s first non-knife opening of a packet of bacon.

Dryhump told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I had been absolutely shitfaced the night before so I rolled out of bed - it was just a normal day in my house. I stumbled down to the fridge to see what was there and thankfully, my wife had had the good sense to buy a packet of bacon. It was just what I needed.

“I took the bacon out of the fridge and by that point, family members had gathered around to watch me attempt to open the packet. I knew what they were thinking - that I’d need a knife. But to my amazement, I yanked on the corner of the packet and it tore wide open.

“I was gobsmacked. My family were gobsmacked. I was so shocked that the bacon fell out of the packet and onto the floor and my dog gobbled it up and now has the shits. Even so, I was so glad my family was there to witness me opening the packet or they would never have believed it.”

Bacon packagers like to play tricks on bacon eaters by making their packets impossible to get into.

“We like to show them what they want but then keep it from them. It’s kind of a funny but sick joke to us.”

Dryhump has not been able to repeat his feat since.

“I tried to open another packet of bacon by pulling on the corner a few days ago but it didn’t work and I ended up breaking my wrist, which is a shame as I can no longer give myself a tug in the mornings.”