Workers who act like they don't want to be at work aren't acting, say workers
It's the world's first known case of anyone opening a packet without a knife
The barrel-shaped bastards have disproven expert advice on how to lose weight
Thousands of people are expected to fall foul of the new law, which takes place with immediate effect
Ms Ballotbox suffered severe inflammation of the opinion gland
"We are pretty certain that one of them will win this presidential election," says Grumpy Fucker's political analyst, Danny Bigballs
“We’ve been getting calls from motorists and police officers across the country telling us that flashers on the side of BMWs are not working," said a traffic officer
The Grumpy Fuckers Anti Social Social Club have put off ten monthly meetings so far this year
The boffins found that whereas dogs need constant attention, cats are quite happy for everyone to fuck off
The club’s Facebook page informed visitors that the iconic nightclub was closing because there were too many ugly fuckers patronising the venue
Husband Terry DumbAss had searched through the drawer after his wife Debbie had asked if they were in there
The traditional dog greeting involves two dogs sniffing each the other's anai.
