Nightclub closes after attracting too many ugly fuckers

A popular nightclub has closed its doors ‘for the foreseeable future’ after it was feared that the venue was attracting a dangerously high proportion of munters.

The club’s Facebook page informed visitors that the iconic nightclub was closing because there were too many ugly fuckers patronising the venue.

Club-goer Dean Snitch told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I can’t believe it. True, it was full of munters, but that all worked in my favour because it meant that I could get laid easier. Where am I going to go and get my leg over now?”

Another club-goer was in floods of tears. She told Grumpy Fuckers:

“I loved it there. They played shit music and that but me and all my ugly friends went there. I now have to sit at home and listen to shit music with all my ugly friends. I blame the government.”