Don't expect to come to our place and use up all our fucking wifi. Get your own.
books and newspaper
We don't provide books or newspapers. Bring your own.
We're based in Wales where it always pisses it down. Bring your own umbrella.
We will try and flog you some of our merchandise though. We've got bills to pay don't you know?
We only do new flavours if we fuck up and burn something.
We're not opening any more stores so don't even ask about them.
We don't do events. We're just not 'people' people.
For hundreds of years, Ethiopia has provided some of the world's best reviewed single origin premium coffee beans. We don't use those. We use cheap shit.
We don't do music and we'd also prefer it if you didn't talk. Just drink your fucking coffee.
Our Brewing Guide
We don’t worry about doing things correctly. We just make stuff up as we go along. So if you’re wanting one of those fancy coffees that you get in other outlets, we suggest that you kindly fuck off there instead.
I flew all the way from the US to visit Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop and when I got there, the man said that they were closed and told me to fuck off.
I visit Grumpy Fuckers some mornings when I can be arsed. The staff never speak to me and always burn my toast, even though I never ask for any.
If you are looking for the finest coffee, the friendliest customer service and the best prices, you're probably best going somewhere else other than this shithole.
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