

Dog’s barking saves owner from assassination by 13 postmen, 46 bin men and 103 cyclists
A 5-year-old dog has saved his owner from assassination by 13 postmen, 46 bin men and 103 cyclists in the last week with just his barking.
Rufus has scared away would-be murderers from the house with his yapping and hollering.
Owner Chris SmellyHouse told Grumpy Fuckers:
“I’m so glad I bought him. I would have been murdered a hundred times over if it wasn’t for Rufus. I had a sneaky suspicion about the postie – every time he comes up my path, he’s got that murderous glint in his eye. And the other day, I was just sitting down to watch the news and this cyclist went past. Rufus started scaring him away and if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t have got to see the news. As it is, I’m working my way through a new series of badger documentaries thanks to Rufus.”
Rufus however, feels that Chris is not as grateful as he should be. He said:
“I stand at that fecking window day and night guarding the realm. And every time a murderer comes up the path, I’m the one fending them away. What do I get? I get shouted at and a slipper thrown at me. It’s not on. If he’s not careful, I’m going to walk away from this family. Then he’ll see what he’s missing.”
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