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What Happens Here

Latest News

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2nd May 2022

Motorists across the world are preparing to drive like arseholes ahead of International Drive Like a Dickhead Day this Monday. The day allows drivers to drive like complete arseholes, angering other normal motorists. Darren Dickface of the Arsehole Drivers Association told Grumpy Fuckers: "I can't wait! I've been practising my driving all week in anticipation of the day. I've been driving up people's arseholes, cutting people up and running them off the road. I think I'm really good at it now and I...

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1st May 2022

People with shit handwriting have been told that it's possible that they have a higher-than-average IQ. Boffins at a local university have told Grumpy Fuckers that people whose handwriting is shit are more likely to be clever. Professor Timmy CleverClogs told Grumpy Fuckers: "We've all seen those doctors' prescriptions and I can't read those for shit. We decided to do some digging into this and it appears that these people are so fucking clever that their brains wire out and causes them...

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22nd April 2022

A leading scientist has discovered a hidden stomach in the human body, that allows people to eat desserts - even when they are full from eating a main course. David BoggleEyes made the discovery while out eating at a local restaurant. He told Grumpy Fuckers: "I was out having one of them eat-all-you-can meals down at the local Chinese when I met a friend who I haven't seen for a few years. The guy was a fat bastard and ate three main courses...

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23rd February 2022

Inspirational quotes posted by social media users cure up to 97% of cases of depression. Social media users who post inspirational memes are often viewed as experts in curing mental health disorders. One social media user told Grumpy Fuckers: "I was down on my luck. I was really having a hard time of things and I couldn't see a way out. Then I logged onto my social media account and saw something that one of my expert friends had posted. It was a...

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18th February 2022

Grumpy Fuckers across the world are demanding that social distancing rules should remain in place so that they don't have to talk to anyone in the future. Grumpy Fuckers have been quietly pleased with the social distancing rules as it has meant that they can keep the fuck away from other fuckers. Gary TwoSheds, President of the Worldwide Grumpy Fuckers Association said: "I've been more than happy with not having to speak to anyone. It's saved me having to cross the...